Now I am not going to lie... Miami hasn't fully grown on me, more importantly my hair hates Miami. (read as my soul hates Miami). However, after being here for a few months, I've come up with some coping mechanisms via poundsigns... or hashtags as you youngin's say.
Here you go bro<<< I'm like totally Miami now. #Dale
1. If your hair is the spirit animal of a frizzed out poodle, now is the time to embrace your inner 70's civil rights leader. Just embrace it, don't fight it... it's too hot for that ish. #PowerToThePeopleAndSuch
2. There's a reason Miami peeps dress like they're trollops who reside in hell.... it's hot. Now you can either look like a decent human being who just got dunked in a pool of their own hot sweat, or you can be less hot... your choice. #HotNotHaute
3.Miami is many things, the land of customer service, it is not. Don't catch a case. Start an addiction to instagram to help bypass the 30 minute wait for a coffee. #ISearchForBigButtsAndICannotLie
4. There is a lot of fakeness in Miami. Fake butts (I shudder), fake boobs (not bad), and fake people (bleh) ... One thing that isn't faked is a good time, so find it. #TheViewIsBetterWithFunPeople #ImCheesingCuzofHim #AlwaysReppingLA
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